Peace of mind comes when it pleases

Today is Easter Sunday, and to celebrate it I made my bed, changed my sheets and cleaned the floor, as any other Sunday. I didn't go to mass; the church would be overcrowded and the other celebrations in the evening didn't happen. It is what it is I guess. But instead, I grasped grace again, randomly, like always.

So, this evening, trying to prevent myself to fall into the dopamine loophole loneliness usually induces me, I went for a walk; the sun isn't as hot yet so my skin can tolerate it while recovering. It was a boring plan, but it was a plan after all.

In order to follow the "resolution" -so to speak- I made yesterday, I tried to not look at my phone at first. I wanted to focus on the present, the streets, the trees, the buildings... and it worked... kinda, because I got bored, and then I started talking to myself, about the sun, what time it could be... I don't know, my mind just started wandering, but this time, it wasn't oppressive, my mind wasn't full of thoughts related to work nor issues to solve, it was thinking about what was happening or could be happening at that precise moment, and, while boring, it wasn't awful, which is a start I think.

After walking for half an hour my brain started wanting not only to check the phone, but also to eat, which was a curious reaction. I started noticing a pattern of avoidance that I might have to explore and go through. The thing is that I finally went for the phone and doomscrolled, but I got bored of that. Instead, I tried to call some friends, and, as no one answered, I put the phone back into my bag.

I reached for a wooden seat at the shadow of a palm tree, and I felt like the world slowed down for an instant; the birds chirping, the gentle wind, the sea and its waves... everything was like a whole, like an instrument playing a melody for me to enjoy. So I decided to listen for once.

And it was certainly worth the try; I became hypnotized. My mind went blank, I started to feel sleepy, calm, in communion with everything that was surrounding me, and when I noticed I wanted to be present, to be able to feel that conscious. And at that exact moment I went out of that trance, the inner noise was back, and I picked up the phone until I went back home at times.

It seems like the only way to achieve inner peace or rather a state of spiritual receptiveness is to not actively seek it, but to create the proper conditions for it to happen, like in that metaphor of building a garden for yourself and then be happy if anyone comes in there because you will have a beautiful garden to enjoy. Something along those lines.

The more I long for abandoning the self and surpassing my current issues, the more they seem to run away, and this can apply to almost everything spiritually or psychologically related to the current state of affairs.

How to replicate this? How to translate this into other areas of my life? I have no clue. I guess its time to try a different approach.